(OK, I just spent over ten minutes trying to decide whether to capitalize Egg Whites or not. Sad.)
A few weeks ago, each team at my office got $100 for decorating their cubicles. After a long debate, my teammates and I decided to buy Guitar Hero for ours. After all, the lone-standing 42″ HDTV and the Xbox next to our cubicle needed some decoration to make them look useful.
When it arrived in mail a few days later, we spent the rest of the day rocking out in the office. And our productivity continued to drop, while we continued to knock out the songs one by one. Sadly, my sweet era as the rock goddess ended with Muse’s “Knights of Cydonia”. At first, I had no doubt I’d beat it. No problem. Then about half way into the song, it started throwing some crazy sixteenth triplets at me — or thirty-seconds, I don’t know (The section is called “Galloping Triplets”. Enough said.). My profundus (Oops, I studied Ergonomics in college) was about to burst from all the finger-pounding and strumming. Thank god, Xbox booed me off before it actually did.
In the midst of it, the pain reminded me of the time I tried to whip up some meringue by hand (No professionals cheat by using a hand mixer, right? That’s too easy. Or I’m just too lazy to wash three extra things, especially when they are super annoying to wash, like the mixer’s whisks). The recipe called for “very firm” meringue — which meant I must beat the heck out of the egg whites. I slowly started whisking and everything looked fine, until I realized the whites were still runny and not getting any firmer after twenty minutes of whisking.
Whipping up meringue isn’t supposed to be easy. I mean, someone dedicated an entire article on its proper techniques. But it couldn’t be that hard. I tried chilling the whites. I cleaned the bowl. I practiced the motions. I beat the hell out of the whites. I even meditated, well, kinda, beforehand. I almost bought a copper bowl. Yet, all I managed to get were runny egg-y foam stuff and pain in my arms.
After lunch today, my teammates wanted me to give the 1,724,043th try at the song. I reluctantly accepted the damn guitar. Then the Galloping Triplets came once again…………and gone…………and I wasn’t booed off yet…………and I beat it!!!!!!!!!!!! Took long enough, but at least it cost fewer tries than getting my first firm meringue peak.
ps. What’s your favorite Guitar Hero song? Mine’s Guns N’ Roses’s “Sweet Child o’ Mine”.